May 25, 2013

Every woman wants to be a girl. Every boy wants to be a man.

May 18, 2013

May 14, 2013

When dudes leisurely take their time ordering food, completely unaware that there’s a huge line forming behind them as they take 20 minutes to thoughtfully deliberate over a half-dozen possible dining options and/or pathetically flirting with the pretty chick at the counter (little bit of advice, boys: put money in their tip jar, you stingy dicks!), I just wish I was the only American citizen that could get a government-issued license to kill.

May 11, 2013

I’m gonna start working the word “zipperhead” into my everyday speaking. I may start using “sleepyhead” more often, too. That one’s just too freaking cute not to say.

May 10, 2013

From what William’s said there’s a 90% chance that we’ll be able to meet up in Prague. I won’t lie, I want to fall in love with him. I think I may have already. I don’t know. I’ve never fallen in love before so I can’t comment on what it feels like to do so. All I know is that I want him to take me away with him. This, of course, conflicts with my growing desire to become a self-sufficient man. Who would I be if I wasn’t so prone to making my life even more difficult than it already is?

May 10, 2013

It’s disgusting to know I’m part of the generation that began thinking that we’re all paradoxically equal and special at the same time. Thanks mom and dad for letting PBS educate us!

May 10, 2013

I’m aware that I have several issues with women. I used to say I was merely a staunch sexist, but recently I’ve been considering adopting misogyny as a lifestyle. I never saw a problem with this practical outlook, considering I’d only be fucking men the rest of my life and I’m not about to waste my time trying to impress a women, let alone treat her with respect. The problem is, though, in being “gay” you’re expected to be even more “in touch” with women than heterosexual men! It’s insane! The way I’ve figured it, most ‘mos feel that women—dyke or straightare supposed to share a common self-perceived adversity that gay men struggle with as well and thus, we share some kinda intrinsic bond. Well, I call bullshit on your social protocols, Society! I don’t ever wanna place nice with girls! Not ever never!

May 10, 2013

I’m really am an awful person. Anyone who would say to the contrary clearly doesn’t know me very well.

May 10, 2013
"I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become."

— Carl Jung

May 10, 2013
"You know, you’re right, Dr. Boles! Let’s keep going! The future’s out there, the unknown! Let’s explore it! Sometimes people can’t just tell you the answer to something and you have to find it out for yourself!"

— Arthur Read

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